Exam Pt. 01

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I knew I should’ve chosen a stranger for my first exam. Someone I could just allow to violate me and never have to see again. But no. I chose to say “yes” to having my first gynaecological exam done by Dr. Laura Shelton: The most beautiful woman I had ever known. The one who I had a crush on since I was six when she first took care of me. My pediatrician who cared for ALL of her patients, but who always left me feeling special. Loved, even. I looked forward to seeing her normally. Even as I grew into a young adult and going to a pediatrician was seemingly childish, I went to her anyway. She listened to me and understood me. And knowing that she would smile at me, hold my hand, give me a hug, and I’d be safe… Nothing and no one could replace that. I’d dream about her holding me at night. I had even started dreaming about her touching me… caressing me in ways that would make me feel warm everywhere…

I could have found a random doctor for adults, maybe sucked it up and went to a gyn like a normal 19 year old would… But when she offered to set up the appointment I just couldn’t say no… Especially when she lovingly patted my leg and smiled that knowing-smile, telling me it would be okay…

But I couldn’t think about that now. I was already aroused just knowing she’d soon be in the room. The nurse had directed me to be ready for the exam – gown, stirrups and all – and I was totally embarrassed by my vulnerable position. I had wanted to look good for her, but how could I look like anything more than an idiot laying like this?

My heart leapt into my throat when I heard her knock. She entered, chart in hand, and despite myself I couldn’t help but stare at her and long… Her make-up was light and natural, as always. Her green eyes were piercing enough, it didn’t take much to make them pop. And I knew very little about make-up but that color on her lips brightened free spin her smile and excentuated her already seductively-charming features… Oh god, and her dark brown hair was pulled back in a sort of bun with a clip… nothing fancy, but just enough to show her neck line which was always so sexy to me…

“How are you, Carrie?” She asked with a warm smile. I felt myself blush, and she placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “I know you’re nervous, I’ll be right here with you the whole way through.”

I was lightheaded, knowing that she was about to see me intimately, albeit clinically, for the first time… I closed my eyes and tried to pretend I wasn’t affected by every background noise. Even the sound of running water turned me on, knowing Dr. Shelton was washing her delicate but firm fingers, preparing to touch my most intimate parts, and now that I thought of it I remembered my underpants were still on, still holding tight to me as I squeezed my knees together. I was hoping against hope that I was in yet another fantasy, and that there was no real chance of this beautiful, sexy, sensitive being seeing my soaking wet spot growing… But my greatest fears were all at once numbed by Dr. Shelton’s soothing voice… and intensified by the snap of her gloves…

“Are you ready?” Her deep green eyes looked right through mine, straight to my soul, and I was speechless, though unfortunately not soundless and I gasped for air that was filled with her scent as her hands gently, but firmly, separated my knees…

“I see you’re trying to hide from me,” she said through a smile, and I turned a shade of red that only turned deeper as I tried to avoid her gaze while my all-too-sensitive body quivered uncontrollably as I felt her fingers slide under my waistband… Still smiling with empathy, she took her eyes off of mine to watch as she slid my panties bonus veren siteler down my thighs and I knew she could see how big the wet spot had grown and I feared her judgment more than I feared any illness or disease… I only wanted her, and now she could see how badly I was longing and I was both ashamed and exhilarated, and ultimately so sad that I was truly fantasizing… She does this all day, every day. Why would examining me, a dumb college freshman, be any different? This is her job. She doesn’t want me…

But my thoughts were interrupted again by her voice.. “There’s no need to be embarrassed, Carrie. I can see that you’re very healthy, nicely groomed, and beautiful as always. Now just take some deep breaths for me…”

I did. Or I tried.. Did she call me beautiful? What breaths I took were more like gasps, which only became shorter and more labored when I felt her spread my lips and say “Good girl…”

I quivered. And again, her smile was warm, almost reassuring, until I heard her ask “How often do you pleasure yourself?” I was stunned. Mortified. I stuttered out an inaudible word, but was glad I held back any sound for fear I might moan as she began massaging my lips. As if nothing was happening, as if all was normal and this was a simple part of any healthy exam.

I felt myself tighten up, trying not to squirm, and she continued talking to me: “A lot of young women find it difficult to react to direct clitoral stimulation. Part of a thorough exam is to make sure the labia minora and majora are reacting well to stimulus before we examine the clitoris. How does this feel, Carrie?”

“Sweet Jesus,” I thought “please don’t let her leave me like this…”

“It’s perfectly normal to feel embarrassed, sweetie,” she said as she adjusted the lighting to get a better view. “Just remember it’s all part of being deneme bonusu veren siteler a healthy woman.” And with those words I felt her gently pull back my hood and begin caressing my button… “I’m going to apply some pressure now, Carrie. Let me know if this causes any discomfort.”

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t tell if this was all part of the exam or if she wanted me to come all over the table just to show me I could do it… Her eyes kept finding mine, and each time we locked eyes I felt a flutter from my chest to my now soaking wet pussy… She kept smiling with that warm, “I know you, you’re safe with me” kind of smile…

“Any pain, Carrie?”

I barely choked out a “No.”

“Good girl, you’re doing great.” She said, and she began palpating around my center. “I’m just checking for any tenderness. Your clitoris and labia are swelling appropriately to my touch. Are you able to do this for yourself? How often are you masturbating?”

How the hell was I supposed to answer that??! Her eyes searched mine and I knew I had to say something, anything… but she interrupted with “The reason I ask, Carrie, is because I notice how smooth the tissue is surrounding your clitoris and your clitoris itself is also very smooth and sensitive.”

My face flushed again, I was trembling. She had figured me out somehow. I don’t know how to pleasure myself. I can rub on things to get off, but nothing like this… How could I tell her that? Did she know I liked women? Did she know I fantasized about her? Did she remember that I was raised Christian and know that I was told sex is wrong and that being aroused this much by a woman was ESPECIALLY wrong?? But did she also know I would give my body to her to do as she pleased in an instant if she’d only take me?

“It’s just us girls, Carrie. You can talk to me.” She smiled again, but her hands left me and she walked toward the sink where her tray of instruments were. “I know you’re a virgin, Carrie, but do you use tampons?” I fumbled out a ‘yes’ as I saw her choosing the proper sized speculum. The water was running again, and again I felt my body flush as I knew she was coming back to touch me…

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